Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, Business and Rock & Roll

Ahh the sweet effluvial aroma of the venue in which has borne witness to my many sober and unsober contemplations.. one quite incomprehensible to others, but relevant nonetheless.

And just like that, due to unforseen circumstances, my condition in absentia has enraged many... ok ok, hold the tomatoes and slippers.. before you throw them in this general direction, it all can be explained. I have left this space unattended to for so long.


there's always a but with ben; BUT, in the course of my missing-ness, there are MORE stories to tell, more thoughts to fondle and more conundrums to reconnoiter..

I'm here, so you can start your tomato throwing now.

I miss ALL of you, i wish i could've been there for ALL of you more, but it is in this sense that i am able to grow. mentally, and sideways.

sigining in,
Captain Adrift, Ben

Friday, 7 March 2008

The Threads Zoo (5-6 April 2008)

For once, i might just treat this blog like a proper conformed human does and post something with relevance to human lives besides the literary conundrums that could lead a profile to assume that i'm a serial killer : )


There are some very dear friends of mine opening this brilliant entrepeneurial venture explicitly named "The Threads Zoo", and what these group of people (spear-headed by our very own model / artist, Deanna Ibrahim) have envisaged in their twisted artistic minds is to have a flea market ala woodstock, bohmeian, nomadic; u name it. If they roam and they're hip, they've got it all.

At this flea market with perks, "lifestyle traders" of all manners will actually congregate here to sell and pedal their wares and here's the niche : primarily, fashionista ladies who have been selling their clothes online via their blogs can use this as a platform in which to finally visit their clientele face to face.

Ergo, since we have this pretty little target market flowing in, we even encourage sellers of independant books, independant recordings, or just simply to sell ur old CDs. Anything that's carriable, lifestyle related and HIP.

AND the plus side, as opposed to steamy sweaty outdoor flea markets, we have it indoors, basking in the comfort of this special technology named airconditioning! perrgghhh!!

So literary flowers aside, for the sellers, it costs RM100 per rack, per day. And for the buyers which is ANYONE WHO HAS FEET AND CAN COME, leash all ur friends in and bring wads and wads of cash because everything'll come cheap, i.e. designer stuff that models have only used TWICE.

So if i missed out anything above or should you need any further details, please do not hesitate to contact either myself of Deanna via the following details:


Myself, Benjamin
h/p: +6019 693 2181
blog: uhmn.... stupid

Date: 5-6 April 2008
Venue: TTDI Plaza
Sellers: RM100 per rack, per day
Buyers: As much money as u can bring, because the stuff is CHEAP! (RM20 - RM100)


Sunday, 2 March 2008

Quiescent II - Influence, Inspiration

The greatest treasures are those that are invisible to the eye but found by the heart.

so DUM MARO DUM, my friends.. my dear dear friends.

Dum maro dum

Miti jaye hum

Bhola soba syum

Hare krishna hare rum

enjoy it while it lasts, because truth is, it never does.

-Ben Dover

Thursday, 14 February 2008


frivol away the purples of lavender
siphon the colors that fill the trees
transcend the empyreal clouds
which now cradle amongst the feet

why does my heart not smile
when it stares in the face of beauty
why do my eyes look forth
yet spot nothing but horizon

pull down the sun
for the light that shines cause naught but pain
kill the birds for they sing nothing
but dissent

take a cloth and wipe the sky
for the stars show nothing
but glimmers that set you lost

hold out your fingers
swing all you need
and your nails will brush
with hopes, long forlorn

stare to your heart
strain your eyes
stare long and fruitful
till rise the bleeding tears

where is the worth
where lies the cost
what is left
for it is all lost

for it has been taken

for she is gone...

(little doth man learn from his antecedents of power. sadness knows no bounds. like death it touches the rich, the poor, the young, the old, the sexy, the haggard, the good, the bad and of course, the ugly. save me. a hope forlorn. happy valentines day everyone.)

Monday, 28 January 2008


My room flooded.

My carpets got soaked.

I hung my room out to dry.

Never has water been so uninvited, yet so present.

Never has there been more.

I hung myself out to dry.

I cried buckets...

I miss it

To watch the meniscus unsheathe

The grandeur of it


(found out that i'm not entirely a sociopath either... my emotions are unfeigned; at times. For what do you do when you find out that you're 100% incapable of emotions. to find out you're less than animal. what.)

-Damp captain

Thursday, 17 January 2008


This is what happens when you permit yourself to allow minute external factors to govern your perseverance and your rationale: you become a jobless bum.

It's a well deserved break that i embark upon, but as i sit here, insignificantly collecting dust and draining the scarce resources that line the outer walls of my bank account, i get worried to death. What's next? How many more anvils can paradise throw down?

I have muddled through this blog and it has sputtered out a trail of perturbation that hasn't pleased many and is not intended to, but in someways gives insight into how i've travelled from being a man who wanted to revisit his imperfections because he was turning into a yuppie, and finally into one who has not completely revisited anything, and is no longer a yuppie by means of unemployment. And in this course of time, i believe i deserve to take this time to


Not entirely la, i'm not 16 anymore. so i drew myself a tattoo of a rose. For the kid AND the woman in me (for my merry friends and readers, i'm still pertty much straight). And i have also discovered that i can complete the rubik's cube in under three minutes, that emotions truly are never relevant and that dried out cigars that have been at the back of your drawer for the past 7 months taste like burning a roll of newpapers. sure woke my lungs up.

So now, i will gladly present to you... uhm..... i'm out of wit. the pen-drawn rose on my arm.

Fear and Loathing in Joblessness...

where's everyone who's eyes held naive promises that they'll be there for you when you need a human tissue. no where in here. not home.

Thursday, 3 January 2008


Though my steps through life have been both slovenly and clumsy, I, as a human being have been granted the benefit of witnessing the harsh realities that bites down on the everyday person, shoved in my face with a rude vigor not unheard of, neither coveted.

And via these minute (albeit many) facets of chance, I have watched testament after testament that people are easier inclined to obtain traits that are deemed brave, be it in a positive manner or otherwise. It’s general knowledge (although it does not apply to all) that people act in the interest of acceptance, either by a group of peers or by a single other person. And you will hear a great number of denials after this statement saying that “I do this because I believe in helping others”; “I BELIEVE” is the phrase that drives the deed, as the individual strives to convey this image of him/herself as being gold-hearted.

Of course there are the few in which these do not apply.

And this brings us to the knowledge that the reason why we refuse to perform great deeds, is because whatever great deeds we perform are paled in comparison to the glorification of, say the man who signs over the HUGE cheque, or the woman who invented sustainable cold fusion so Russia can live throughout their winters.

When a man is easily inspired to entirely alter their perceptions towards certain aspects based on the convergences of little moments of what we could call divine afflatus, why is it so strongly prevalent, the ongoing idea that mankind will be influenced by great deeds of men/women/child/hermaphrodite of whom are forced into being heroes of circumstance whom are then publicized and commercialized, when it is those who perform tiny acts of altruism driven by nothing other than choice that create the heavyset difference that inspires people to adopt momentary disregards of self…


WORRSSHIIPP MEEE!!! Haaaakakakakakaka

Sorry. The espresso chocolates have kept me awake and I have jabbered senselessness into the night. I have currently 5 incomplete items that I wish to post, but I am stopped by the fact that:

1. The items are incomplete
2. I can't complete them because i'm uninspired
3. Espresso Chocolates
4. I can't remember
5. As Truman Capote once said, failure is the condiment that gives success it's flavour.

: )

Happy reading & Sleep tight,
your sailor-boy (regulated)